I am sitting at home ready to fly to Portugal. I have not been away for 7 months now. Strange, it makes me realise how much my life had become dominated by running. Last year by May I had been away 6 times, usually using a race as an excuse!
I feel more positive now about my potential distance running ability. It is strange to be setting targets, hugely ambitious targets, when I am not even able to run for 5 minutes without pain. Without belief that things will get better, and that when they do I will be back better, and stronger and quicker, there is no point. I have been averagely good at a lot of things in life. I have always seemed to do well in the workplaces I have ended up in. I have not had a career though because I have not had the passion for any specific area of work to push to become great at it. I was an averagely good photographer, averagely good DJ, averagely good when I worked in marketing, and project management. When I use the term 'average' I am not benchmarking myself against others, it is average for me, for what I could achieve. If I had stuck with my first job after University maybe I would have become very good at it....but I firmly believe you have to have a passion for something to achieve your very best, because most of that achievement is mental, rather than skill based.
I think I have enough passion for my running, and my coaching, to go beyond being averagely good at both. I don't have much natural athletic ability, but I believe I have enough, and more importantly the passion and the discipline to go well beyond the target I set for myself when I started this blog.
Over the last week my knee has been painful, running on consecutive days, and spinning, caused that. It's settling down now, and I will go and enjoy my holiday. A week on Friday I will see the results of my MRI and I will know just how long my road from here is, it's been 4 months now, and I am sure several more months if not longer still to go, but when I do come back it will be to be the best I can be, to go well beyond the goal of this blog, which is not (for me) averagely good.
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
All Change Please...
Been a strange few months, and clearly blogging is not yet an important part of me...it being 6 months since my last.
Running went well until Christmas, up to 90-100 miles a week through the last bit of base training and a nice comfortable half marathon PB of 1.19.04 at Bedford over a hilly course. New year came and went and snowy days came. After a couple of 90 mile weeks over snow and ice was feeling OK. Running home one evening I picked up an annoying pain in my right knee...
4 months on...less than 25 miles run since that day in mid January...ouch. Been a troublesome injury to sort becuase there has never been a clear diagonsis and I am still waiting on MRI results later this month. It's improving, slowly, but my running and fitness has gone so far back. Watching London was fun but handing in my number the day before was pretty tough and I have realised over the last few months just how much running has got into my soul. It is not a hobby, it is a part of me. It is my way of regularing my energy, of controlling my body, the only area of my life where I see results and can see myself excelling over the next few years...all the more result to get better soon!
Cycling has become more important, but the more I have cycled the more other niggles I have picked up...tonight its ITBS. Postive thinking goes along way though and I am trying hard, so hard to stay positive, but at times over the last 3 months I have felt slipping back into darker days of a few years ago.
Since then my job has changed - no managing coach development across Sport England sports in Central London....and my home has changed....to a flat from which I can almost see the marathon course in Whitechapel. I can see light now with my running, but I am some way of a proper comeback plan.
Running went well until Christmas, up to 90-100 miles a week through the last bit of base training and a nice comfortable half marathon PB of 1.19.04 at Bedford over a hilly course. New year came and went and snowy days came. After a couple of 90 mile weeks over snow and ice was feeling OK. Running home one evening I picked up an annoying pain in my right knee...
4 months on...less than 25 miles run since that day in mid January...ouch. Been a troublesome injury to sort becuase there has never been a clear diagonsis and I am still waiting on MRI results later this month. It's improving, slowly, but my running and fitness has gone so far back. Watching London was fun but handing in my number the day before was pretty tough and I have realised over the last few months just how much running has got into my soul. It is not a hobby, it is a part of me. It is my way of regularing my energy, of controlling my body, the only area of my life where I see results and can see myself excelling over the next few years...all the more result to get better soon!
Cycling has become more important, but the more I have cycled the more other niggles I have picked up...tonight its ITBS. Postive thinking goes along way though and I am trying hard, so hard to stay positive, but at times over the last 3 months I have felt slipping back into darker days of a few years ago.
Since then my job has changed - no managing coach development across Sport England sports in Central London....and my home has changed....to a flat from which I can almost see the marathon course in Whitechapel. I can see light now with my running, but I am some way of a proper comeback plan.
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